Grief Without Self-Betrayal: Rebuilding Trust from the Inside Out

This season can be especially difficult for many, as memories of loved ones who are no longer with us often resurface. Please know that my thoughts and heartfelt prayers are with you during this challenging time.

In this newsletter, or in this series of newsletters, I want to reflect on how we can grieve losses – whether of health, roles, relationships, or certainty – while still holding on to self-trust. It emphasizes discernment, emotional boundaries, and inner authority as the new pillars of strength. I’m not just trying to teach you to “stay positive” through the storm, but instead to “stay loyal to yourself” as you experience the brutal winds of life.

Many people, unfortunately, don’t know the difference between the two. For instance, the primary focus of “staying positive” means managing your emotions, while “staying loyal to yourself” primary focus is on preserving your inner truth and self-trust. Let me give you a better description of both: Staying loyal to yourself teaches you to – tell the truth about what hurts, listen to what your emotional and bodily signals are saying without judgment, setting boundaries based on evidence – not obligation, and lastly choosing integrity over comfort or approval. Staying positive teaches you to – override or suppress uncomfortable emotions, reframe pain before it’s been acknowledged, act strong and composed in front of others - even when you may be struggling on the inside, and lastly, measuring progress by mood improvement.

Honey, staying positive isn’t just going to cut it. If it hurts, it hurts, and saying so, being vulnerable doesn’t take away your power.

Experiencing loss changes us. Sometimes it’s visible - health, work, roles, independence. Sometimes it’s quieter – the loss of trust, safety, or the belief that the people closest to us will show up when it matters most.

This series exists for those navigating grief without wanting to lose themselves in it. For those who are learning, often painfully, that strength doesn’t always look like pushing through – but like staying loyal to your inner truth while everything else shifts.

Here, we won’t rush healing or romanticize resilience. We’ll talk about grief honestly, build self-trust deliberately, and redefine strength in ways that respect reality. This is about learning how to grieve without self-betrayal, and how to rebuild confidence that is discerning, grounded, and real.

I want you to put this in your toolbox. Your grief is valid, and it doesn’t need to be measured against anyone else’s experience. You have every right to grieve, even if someone else’s pain seems greater. There is no guilt in feeling what you feel – your pain matters, and it deserves space and care. Naming what you’ve lost honors your experience and creates space for healing, and remember, acknowledging loss is not a sign of negativity – it’s an act of self-respect.

When grief is acknowledged, you give it space, healing, and care instead of suppressing, camouflaging, and avoiding.

Before I close, I want you to practice this with me. Take one slow breath, place your hand where you feel grounded (your chest, your stomach, or your leg). Ask yourself: What truth about yourself do you want to honor this week? Let the answer be simple. Let it be enough.

Now go and be loyal to yourself.